Our wedding
Wedding preparations
Cody and I, as introverted souls, don’t plan parties and avoid going to parties. The thought of planning a wedding, even a small one, seemed like an unconquerable feat. Fortunately, we have such loving and talented friends and family who went above and beyond to make our wedding weekend special. It all came together better than we could have imagined!
When Cody and I were engaged over the summer of 2024, I hoped for a pi day (March 14th) wedding. We went back and forth about how we wanted to celebrate. Eloping in the mountains sounded fun, but we decided it wouldn’t feel right without having family there. It was the right decision for us to have a small wedding ceremony.
My favorite memories of the planning stages of our wedding were: 1) pretending to be food critics, 2) meeting Joann, and 3) busily recipe testing and preparing pies with Cody’s parents.
(1) For our wedding dinner, we decided on a Mediterranean restaurant in Chapel Hill. Cody and I had been there a year ago with friends and enjoyed the food and ambience. Before we confirmed the booking, we made a dinner reservation and ordered all the dishes we considered having at the wedding. It was fun to slow down, think about the flavors of the food and what might go well together.
(2) Joann was my wedding dress tailor. She worked out of her house that smelled overwhelmingly of potpourri. I only needed to visit her three times until the dress was ready. I loved hearing about her life, family, and travels around the world. I wish we could have been best friends! When it was time to pick up the dress, I had Cody come along with me to meet this incredible woman. Now I need to find other events/ fancy gowns that need altered, so I can see her again…
(3) A few days before the wedding, Cody’s parents ended their sunny Alabama trip to visit us to help with preparations and bake pies. We recipe tested lemon, matcha and cherry pies. Cody’s mom was the head chef. She named me “sous chef” and “butter melter.” Cody’s dad was named “lemon guy” and “pie crust maker.” The lemon pie recipe was perfect on our second attempt (creamy and slightly tangy), however the matcha pies needed a little more work. By the third iteration, we were all happy with the outcome. It was a big production, but I’m so glad we had delicious pies to share for pi day.
Thursday - Families meeting
Today was the first day of wedding activities. We were so fortunate that some of our friends were coming from long distances to see us. I felt so honored, but simultaneously, guilty, that they would sacrifice their time and money for us. It was a priority for me that we spend as much quality time with them as we could. My college friend and her family were flying in on this day, so Cody and I decided to surprise her and her family at the airport. It was a highlight of my day! After all these years, I had never met her husband or children. Her son was shy at first, but he opened up quickly, telling us about his Toothless stuffed toy and animals that he 3D printed at home.
In the evening, Cody’s brother-in-law graciously prepared a gourmet feast for our families. This was the first time our families were meeting. He planned a menu of san bei gai (three cup chicken) and homemade perogies, a merging of Chinese and Polish cultures.
When Cody and I arrived with my parents, our 6 year old nephew had made us a welcome sign. He even included a joke on the sign: “What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!” The table was decorated with polka dot placemats that Cody’s mom had hand painted, fairy lights and flowers. It was beautiful! The food was delicious. My parents even had second servings!
My parents also gifted our niece a toy stuffed horse that could be carried in a handbag, and our nephew a foil art activity kit. It was fun to see their excitement and enjoyment with their new toys.
Friday, Pi Day! Our wedding day!
The night before our wedding day, I had trouble sleeping. We went to bed around midnight, and I was up by 3am. I didn’t feel nervous about marrying Cody, although I had some pretty wacky wedding dreams leading up to the big day. While Cody slept, I rewrote my wedding vows and checked on the Funfetti cake I had attempted to frost the day before.
We started our day driving to the Wake County Courthouse with my parents. We arrived around 8:30 am, determined to be the first in line to be married. We paid our $50, then waited for the courtroom to open at 9:30am. The next couple to arrive would be at 9:05 am. By 9:30 am, there were at least five other couples milling around.
The courthouse ceremony was quick and efficient. My mom and dad were our witnesses. We said the textbook vows to each other, exchanged rings, and before we knew it, we were pronounced husband and wife! Immediately after the declaration, my dad promptly told the judge, and us, “it’s all downhill from here!” Thanks, dad…
Cody and I decided to do a first look for our actual ceremony, so we split off for the remainder of the day. He went to his aunt’s house to spend time with his family. My parents went with my sister’s family to Duke Gardens. I went to a hair and makeup appointment (I’m glad I hired a professional). It felt like she used at least a hundred bobby pins and emptied a whole can of hairspray to achieve an updo. I was also worried that I wouldn’t look like myself with makeup and false eyelashes, but it all came together well. After this, I had a few hours of quiet to myself, which I greatly enjoyed.
Around 4:30 pm, in my wedding dress, I drove my parents to JC Raulston Arboretum. When we arrived, Cody’s family and friend were busily setting up at the Rose Garden. I met our photographer, and she helped coordinate our first look near a flowering loebner magnolia tree that caught our eye on a prior visit. You could tell we had never done a first look before, since Cody turned around prematurely, but it all worked out!
The ceremony ran smoothly. Cody’s sister coordinated the music, and Cody’s friend helped rally the little ones, as they prepared to walk down the aisle. First to walk down the aisle was my sister’s one year old son. He couldn’t reliably walk on his own yet, so he had a little wagon to serve as his walker. He did great, only veering off track once before crashing into some chairs. Next, our top hat-adorned, ring-bearing nephew made his way down the aisle, carefully ensuring the rings made it to their intended destination. Following him was our adorable flower girl, in a pretty white dress and pearls, meticulously taking each individual flower petal from her basket and placing it on the aisle. Finally, I walked down the aisle with my mom and dad, focusing on Cody, and not remembering much else.
My brother-in-law officiated the wedding. We are so grateful that he was willing to do this for us. He artfully weaved in so many aspects of our relationship (our first date to the Chinese lantern festival, our hiking adventures, Cody’s fear of heights, pi day). It was meaningful, heartfelt and comedic. After the ceremony, we took lots of family pictures, had a toast of sparkling grape juice, ate pies and funfetti cake. We returned back home, and partook in our favorite takeout foods: spicy fish, salt and pepper ribs, and sushi, among others.
Saturday - Official dinner
The next morning, we learned that our brother-in-law was transported to the hospital by EMS. I wish he was able to spend the rest of the weekend with us. We are so grateful for him.
We went to downtown Cary Park with our families and some friends. It was fun to see how excited the kids were to play outside. The slides and fountain were popular spots. Afterwards, we had everyone over to our house. It was happy chaos, with the kids playing catch, sliding down the stairs, and playing hide and seek. Luckily, we had a lot of leftovers from the night before and could feed everyone.
We had to rush everyone out by 4:15 pm to make it in time for our official wedding dinner. The weather was great, and we sat at their outside tables. You wouldn’t think that such a beautiful restaurant was hidden in between an Aldi’s supermarket and Dollar General! The environment is peaceful, surrounded with wooden trellises and vining plants. We had two long tables for our guests. The seating arrangements were probably not the most traditional, but it worked for us. Our families and some friends had already spent most of the weekend together, so they seemed comfortable in each other’s company.
We had too much food (always a good thing) including a dip platter served with warm pita bread, keftedes (beef meatballs with tzatziki sauce), spanakotiropita (spinach and feta pie), salads, spanakorizo (spinach, onion, carrot, rice pilaf), briam (roasted zucchini, eggplant and potatoes), with entrees of roasted chicken and lamb.
My mom had heard stories about my friends throughout the decades. It was funny watching her go from person to person, stating 2-3 facts about them (some of which I didn’t even remember!). My friends were very impressed by her knowledge of them.
After the dinner, Cody’s family took out coolers of pies from their car. They set up their pie distribution center on a bench outside of the Dollar General where they started their pie peddling operation! It was a nice way to end the evening. We handed out pies, chatted with everyone as they were leaving, took pictures, and set off for home after a long day filled with family and friends.
Sunday - Rock climbing and wrapping things up
Today was the last day of activities (whew… it was a busy weekend). I wasn’t sure if I would be able to get my parents out of the house. We had breakfast at Cody’s aunt’s house. Once we were appropriately fueled with eggs, sausage, bacon, cheesy potato casserole, and flat cinnamon rolls, we were off to rock climbing! My mom had never rock climbed before, and she did great! She eventually climbed to the top of a 50 foot wall, without stopping once! Our nephew also did an amazing job climbing. We had taken him over a year ago, and he was too nervous to climb very high. Now, he was bravely summiting all the walls!
More reflections
It was a rocky start to planning our wedding. Although there was a lot of uncertainty at first, we eventually came to a place where we felt empowered to plan the wedding in the way we wanted to celebrate it. I’m satisfied with how we adhered to our wedding budget. We splurged in some areas that were important to us (engagement photos in Montana) and saved in others (buying a used wedding dress, baking a funfetti wedding cake). We were reminded of how grateful we were to have good lifelong friends. We thought we were having a simple wedding, however, it turned into a four day extravaganza! One of my friends who had a traditional Indian wedding (a multi-day elaborate affair) stated that we ended up throwing an Indian wedding with all the activities that were planned! After the courthouse ceremony on Friday morning, I had thought to myself, “Wow, we could have been done by now. I could have gone home and taken a nap!”
Some other random thoughts we had over the next week -
My mom said, “Your husband is coming." My reply: “Huh? Oh, Cody!”
Thinking about how much we were congratulated on our relationship over the last few months, and how we’re not going to get congratulated on our relationship ever again. Maybe when we’ve been married for 50 or so years…
“You’re in bed with a married man/woman, scandalous!”